Can you spare 10 minutes?

It came to mind to me that I've been failing to meet my goal of posting in this blog at least once a week. I had some pretty high goals of posting three times a week which is great when I feel like I have the time.

Time is a funny thing. It frequently seems like there is just not enough to go around. When that's not the case, it seems like there is too much. Honestly, it seems ridiculous to want to kill time. Time is fleeting enough as it is

A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.
-Charles Darwin

What is it to waste time? Is watching television wasting time? Reading the news? Who says that everything we do must be constructive? Who says watching television doesn't serve any purpose?

Don't get me wrong, I think it's important to unwind sometimes. At a certain point a problem arises though; when you get so wound up that you spend too much time unwinding. Some might just call this laziness, but I would tend to disagree. I've often found in many areas of life that like breeds like. Inertia has proven that a body at rest tends to stay at rest. Rest leads to more rest, and action leads to more action. It seems the way of the natural world.

Think of your last vacation - a series of days off. So often there is so much we plan to accomplish in that time. By the time the vacation reaches completion, you're left wondering what happened to all of that time.

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans"
-John Lennon

Consider this. What if you could live outside of time? Not simply life without responsibility, but life without the constraints or motivation of time.

People often recommend living life in the now, being present to life. Perhaps that is the closest we can get to living outside of time. We measure time as we perceive it. Time moves forward in what we claim to understand to be constant. This is what we know of reality.

As time goes, we also understand it to be variable.

"Love vanquishes time. To lovers, a moment can be eternity, eternity can be the tick of a clock."
-Mary Parrish

So what is the truth then? Do we believe what the mechanics of the clock tell us? What is more real than one's own perception? Once we understand that the passage of time is variable, we have two other factors to consider: Time is linear, and time is unidirectional.

"Where does this difference between the past and the future come from? Why do we remember the past but not the future?"
-Steven Hawking

Before you immediately dismiss the above idea as nonsense, please take a moment to let the quote sink in. We dismiss the concept of remembering the future as something impossible based on our own perceptions. We perceive time as linear and unidirectional, so it stands to reason that we cannot remember the future. Let those assumptions go for a moment. Consider that it is possible that time is not unidirectional. Consider how small we are compared to the cosmos; to the rest of the universe. We are but the bacteria on this tiny planet in this tiny galaxy amongst millions of other planets spread throughout millions of other galaxies. Do you think bacteria even perceive the passage of time? Is it possible that we are simply unable to comprehend time at the level for which it exists?

If time is not unidirectional, and time is not constant, then is time still linear? Some philosophers have postulated that every time a decision is made between two distinct options, a dimensional split occurs. In one of these dimensions, the first option is chosen, and a new dimension is formed for each other option that could have been chosen - or indeed had been chosen. It is then possible that time is not linear either.

This brings me back to an earlier point - what if you could live outside of time? The first step in doing this is to break down your perceptions of time. You cannot do it all at once though. You have to weaken your perceptions of time bit by bit. Time is constant, unidirectional, and linear. Tackle one of these features of time that we claim to know, and begin to break it down. I imagine the first would be the easiest. We have all experienced moments where time seems to stand still, or where time seems to go by far too quickly. Time is NOT constant. Once you are okay with one concept, move on to another.

At some point you will begin to realize that perhaps time is an illusion. Is it possible that time is not passing at all? Does time even exist? Is it merely our perception of change around us that we must put into linear order to even begin to understand?

"He causes things to look different so it would appear time has passed."
-Horselover Fat (a character in VALIS by Philip K. Dick)

While I do not believe it possible to escape time completely, I do find it enlightening to step beyond what is commonly accepted for the simple fact that we've not experienced anything different. Maybe the first step to experiencing something different is to be open to the experience. Until we learn to step outside of time, we will continue to abide by it. If nothing else, I hope to have conveyed one simple truth: Time is what you make of it.

Fail.

Fail.

Think of this not as an observation, nor as a label, but as a command or order. Imagine what you would do if you were required to fail.

I've tried, at least to some extent, imagining what life would be like if I could not fail. In fact, it's quite a refreshing experience to try to live your life taking actions believing that you will not fail. What would you do differently if you knew in your heart that you would not fail?

People are afraid of failure. But failure in and of itself isn't really what we're afraid of. We're afraid of the consequences of failure. We're afraid of the judgments people will make of us, that they will link us to our failures. We're afraid that failures will ruin our lives, destroy good things, have long lasting and far reaching negative effects.

Believe it or not, failure is more forgiving than most people realize. Let's adjust the framework. I don't believe in thinking outside the box. Conceptualization is great and all, but experience is worth so much more. Don't think outside the box. If the box is wrong, redefine the fucking box. Make the box bigger, change its size, shape, position. The reason so many people have trouble thinking outside the box is because we all live in the box. To consider something outside the box is tantamount to saying just think like you're in a totally different universe. We can do that, sure, but we're limited by our experiences.

My good friend Mike Finch once said:

"He didn't think outside the box, he tossed the box in the water and threw rocks at it."

At the time, Mike was pointing out that the person in question didn't seem to even take the box (or the situation) seriously. As if the person were mocking the box. Given the situation, from our point of view "throwing rocks at the box" seemed like the wrong answer. It occurs to me now that maybe that's what you have to do sometimes. If you don't like where the box is, move it! If the box is floating, and you want it underwater, throw rocks at it!

Redefine the box. We've all experienced failure, but it doesn't have to be so paralyzing, or even negative. Here's your thought experiment: Think of all the GOOD things that have come from your failures. Think of the positives that have come from Plan B.

Don't be discouraged by a failure. It can be a positive experience. Failure is, in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch as every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true, and every fresh experience points out some form of error which we shall afterwards carefully avoid.
- John Keats

Failure as a pathway to success? Absolutely. So long as you're learning from your failures, you're gaining knowledge, perspective, experience, and understanding. You learn what doesn't work. One of my favorite examples of this is Thomas Edison. Most of Thomas Edison's experiments and inventions were failures - right up until he succeeded. As he was inventing the light bulb, Edison experimented with thousands of different substances and ways to create the device. He understood failure not as a set-back, but a step forward.

Many of life's failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up
-Thomas Edison

Don't be afraid of failure. Embrace it. Learn from it. The more you fail, the more you know. The act of failing does not make a person a failure. Giving up however, does.

Go out there and fail! Fail until you are outrageously successful!

DON'T PANIC

It seems that the very moment when you find yourself on top of the world with everything under control is the exact same moment when you will notice the foundation below you crumbling. We all know this feeling. Each and every one of us has had an experience where at one instance in time we feel unstoppable, and the next instant... well, we're stopped.

How does this apply to me? Well, for the moment I can't fully discuss that. Suffice it to say that there are at least two different situations that I find myself in at the moment that I'm struggling with. Only a short time ago I believed wholeheartedly that the path I was taking was absolutely the right path for me. I felt downright unstoppable.

Times change. Now I feel... well, stopped. Sometimes life presents us with the most incredible of challenges. Under which circumstances, it is natural to feel overwhelmed. What solution is there to this sense of paralysis? The claustrophobic sensation of the world tightening around you? Do you succumb to these negative forces and give up? Do you thrash about wildly hoping against all hope that you can relieve even a fraction of the pressure?

A friend of mine who shares a similar interest in writing about the quotes and thoughts occupying his mind recently wrote about this quote:

"If you are going through hell, keep going."
-Winston Churchill

Mr. Churchill couldn't have been more right, and Gary couldn't have had better timing. Think about it. If you're in hell, where do you end up if you stop?

So I've been doing my best to collect myself and start moving again lately. I've been fighting the forces of inertia and trying to get myself going again. Sure enough, I'll be making a big move very soon. Believe me, I have no intention of remaining in hell.

I tell myself that I don't panic. The more I think about it, the more I realize that that is a lie. My panic is simply a little different than most. My panic isn't the freak-out-and-make-rash-decisions type; my panic is the I-don't-know-what-to-do-next-so-I-just-shut-down-altogether type. I internalize, and eventually I seize up and stop.

Perhaps the scariest part about all of this is my ability to disguise my negative emotions. I am absolutely stressed but I avoid showing it at all costs. I think the biggest outward indicator of my current state of mind is my health, and I even do my best to disguise the severity of those issues.

Nevertheless I always try my best to avoid panicking. Taking a moment to think a problem through and gather yourself before acting has proven itself a good strategy for me. It occurs to me that panicking will only exacerbate any trouble you are in, no matter which type of panic you exhibit.

Well, I'm done panicking. I'm facing some big challenges, but I'm ready to take them on.

So next time you don't know what to do, next time you feel like you're freaking out, or overwhelmed, or collapsing in on yourself, just remember these two simple words:

"DON'T PANIC"
-Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy)

God's Apology

For those of you who know me, you may well be aware that I am not the most theistic person in the world. I am a self declared non-christian agnostic. I have a strong scientific mind that seeks fact and evidence. The only place I put faith is in those who have proven themselves worthy. And while this may seem arrogant or even blasphemous; God, you sir, have not.

Not that it matters. If a God exists in any form similar to that which man has created - that is, man created God in the image of himself - I don't believe that God necessarily needs to prove himself to anyone. Nor does he need to report or answer to anyone. This of course assumes we're discussing the commonly accepted monotheistic God. So what on Earth would God have to apologize for?

“Friends are God's apology for relations.”
- Hugh Kingsmill

I received an interesting email this morning. Without getting into any details about it, I think this quote applies at least to the periphery of the issue. While this quote may have been intended with regard to things we cannot choose (our families) I think we can take it a step further.

There are some pains in life that we have all experienced. Some troubles that we all share in some form or another. If you're the type of person to believe in a higher power, then you may occasionally question why a merciful God would condemn us to such pains and troubles. Likewise, if you believe in that merciful God, then you probably believe in his master plan. But perhaps God does owe you an apology.

I learned a while ago that saying that you're sorry is not always an expression of guilt. It is often a display of empathy to which guilt should not be attached.

The WordNet Dictionary defines the word apologize as follows:

"1: acknowledge faults or shortcomings or failing"

God acknowledges your pain, and gives you friends to help you through your troubling times.

I do what I can to help my friends through whatever hardships they might be facing. I know my friends would do the same for me. Friends have helped me through some of the roughest moments of my life, and without them I have no idea how I would have made it.

Perhaps, if there is a God, he is the one who gave me those friends. Was it truly arrogant to call Him out then? Personally, I think it arrogant to believe that an omnipotent being would even give me a second thought. An ant might believe me to be all powerful, and I still don't care what its name is.

Nay, I believe that my friends have all done what they have done of their own accord. And that, my friends, is what makes them amazing.

We are what we pretend to be...

Here's something that has popped up a couple of times in the last week or so. It's the concept that we are all pretending - more specifically that we are all pretending to be somebody else. Can that be right? If so, who am I pretending to be? Who are my friends pretending to be? Why can't we just be ourselves?

In order to be ourselves, we must first know ourselves. There's your first hurdle right there. I don't think any one of us truly knows ourselves 100%. Perhaps that's why it's so easy to become enamored with somebody who seems to know you better than you know yourself. The truth is, maybe they do.

Some are indeed more enlightened, more self aware though. But even so, those people are probably pretending too, right? Perhaps they're only pretending to be someone better or smarter than their true self.

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." - Kurt Vonnegut

The first spot where this thought along a thread of similarities popped up recently was in an episode of "Life". I'll skip the synopsis for now, but the main character, Charlie Crews, is a detective who tends to have a very zen outlook on life. He has a ton of interesting things to say (a credit to the writers of "Life"). In this recent episode, he said "Buddha says everyone pretends to be someone else." So now we have two people... well, three if you consider the fictional character of Charlie Crews... who think that everyone is pretending. What kind of message is this?

This is what led me to many of the above thoughts. Later in the same episode, Crews also wondered "Who was the Buddha pretending to be?" and that "Perhaps he was pretending to be the Buddha" (paraphrased). He was pretending to be himself, or to go a step further, he was pretending to be a better version of himself.

Entry two into this chain of perception comes in a slightly different form. I read somebody's profile today, and they said:

"I do the best imitiation [sic] of myself."

OF COURSE! If we are all living day to day pretending to be ourselves, then it only stands to reason that we should be most apt to imitate ourselves. Believing that I am pretending to be the person I want to be, and in agreement with Vonnegut's position that we are what we pretend to be, then I will eventually become that better person. Spending each moment of each day pretending to be that person should make me best prepared to imitate that person.

So... Who are you pretending to be?

Quotes and Ponderances: As a part...

It came to mind yesterday while I was driving that I ought to find some things to consider, ponder, or otherwise meditate on. Why did this come to mind?

Truth be told, I was listening to a song and was taken back to my days at Ferris. Specifically, I remember that in one of my dorm rooms, someone had etched a little saying into the wall. I can only remember the first few words, so I'll fill in the rest with my best recollection. Lightly written in pencil, It said:

"As a part of the greater whole"

I always wondered where this thought came from, why it was written on the wall, what the person who wrote it thought as they wrote it. I often let those words roll around in my head. Never once did it occur to me to get some soap and water and wash the scribblings from the wall.

Flash back to me driving, and once again the words were bouncing through my brain as I drove. I wondered first if those words were still inscribed on the wall. Next, I considered again what they meant. I took the words, formed them around my life as we all do when we hear something with any amount of depth, be it a lyric, a quote, or simply and offhand statement.

I am a part of something greater than myself. What I do is not simply for myself. Frequently, what I do is motivated by those around me, and what effects it will have on them. I want what I do to be of benefit to more people than just myself.

So instead of simply seeking out words to meditate on, I want to take this one step further and record my thoughts. Hence, the blog that you are now reading.

According to most dictionaries, ponderances is not a word. However, according to this UrbanDictionary.com entry (that I agree with completely) ponderances are:

Ponderous thoughts to be ponderously pondered. Basically, if there is an adverb, adjective, and verb of ponder, then it stands to reason that there ought to be a noun as well.

Your thoughts and comments are welcome, as are contributing authors.

Welcome to Quotes and Ponderances.